shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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