Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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