This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize