do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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