I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
false alarm. still invincible.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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