put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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