Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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