wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
false alarm. still invincible.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
