I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
