You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
