last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
