I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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