all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
