You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize