rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
