In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize