He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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