all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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