Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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