can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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