it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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