So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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