She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
