that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
