What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
