im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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