Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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