So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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