Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize