my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
tonight lets celebrate not being married
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
