i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
