I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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