i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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