oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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