I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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