it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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