non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
