wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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