He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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