I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
