getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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