I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
two words...techno handjob
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
