The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize