I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
