That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
