Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
