I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
