i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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