if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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