I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
