Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
