even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
