It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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