I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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