Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
