Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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