ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
