i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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