So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
