ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
