goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
