So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I deserve this hangover.
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