Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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