i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize