My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize